Divorce. How Does it Affect Teenagers?

Tianna Arsenault- 41% of all first marriages end in divorce, and 60% get divorced during their second marriage. One morning before school, I thought everything was fine. Then I noticed my dad was really upset, and I just didn’t understand what was happening to my family... Divorce is never an easy subject, or fun to deal with, but knowing you’re not alone really helps. The first step of coping with divorce is being honest about how you feel. Being grown up now and more mature, I understand things I didn’t back then. People fall in love and sadly fall out of love too. In a survey I conducted at Sutton High School, I asked students how they felt when they found out their parents were getting a divorce. A really heartfelt response I received was, “At first, I really didn’t feel anything. I cried, instinctively. As time passed I went through different phases of grieving; anger, confusion, sadness, guilt, etc. I think the worst part of it all was realizing that we were no longer, nor could ever be, a real family again.” Most surveys online reported that students feel betrayed by their parents, and really confused at first. From my own experience, it definitely takes a lot of time to get used to. The awkward holidays with one side of the family, and being stuck in the middle all the time, having to choose where to go and who to see. I always thought I was picking sides when choosing whose house to stay over or who I would want to spend certain holidays with. The most painful aspect of divorce, in my opinion, is not seeing your other parent as much. It’s very difficult when you’re used to both parents being at home living together; it is definitely a hard adjustment. A quote from my survey states, “There has never been a time where it hasn’t affected my time with either of my parents. It seems to always be there no matter what the conversation is, where we’re going, what we’re doing, etc. Especially when it feels like I have to choose whose ‘side’ I’m on. It’s exhausting, even almost 4 years later.” Over the years, I found every excuse to be mad at my parents for what I thought they did to the family. I blamed them for doing this to my sister and I. Eventually, I realized that my parents put an extreme amount of effort into rekindling their marriage. However, there came a point where they tried their hardest but the matter just wasn’t fixable. That’s when I learned to accept that maybe it’s better this way. Although having divorced parents can be really hard for a busy teenager. Having to pack a bag and go to another house can often be hard for teenagers, and sometimes it can feel like you don’t have a “true” home. A perk about having two houses is if anything happens at one house, you always have an escape to go somewhere else. Two beds, two different rooms, it can be stressful but can also be a positive thing. Another problem with divorce is that parents don’t always stay in the same town, which ends up making living situations harder. Kids have to pack a bag just to go visit one of their parents. No child wants to feel like they’re picking sides between their parents, but it always ends up feeling that way. You’ll feel guilty bailing on seeing one of your parents but it becomes frustrating with friends as you grow older and wanna go out. Divorce is never an easy thing to go through... but what never goes away is the love parents have, and always will have, for their children.